This may be some old news, but with polls tightening, the information is more important now than ever before. Hillary Clinton gave a speech in February discussing her disbelief in Republican's ability to blatantly lie. The speech ended with the former Secretary of State poorly replicating a dog's bark. Many, both Republican and Democratic alike, looked upon this act as one of here biggest mistakes, her ranting about nonsense which caused her to look foolish in the public eye. That belief was held until a recent study found the true reasons behind her seemingly nonsensical barking... the unknown demographic.
Two months after this speech was given, a research was conducted at the Taurus Excretum College of MultiCommunications in which the speech was dissected in search of meaning. The cause for the search was that they believed that no public figure with a national, nay! international reputation to uphold would have acted in such a foolish manner without some sort of political gain involved. The study reported its final findings this past Thursday with these results. Hillary Clinton barked on purpose! It turns out that her "arh, arh! arh! arh!" has a deeper meaning than most human would initially perceive. The college thought to translate these barks from "doganese" into English. Their initial attempts to translate the barks bore no fruit, until they realized that Hillary Clinton had learned "doganese" in Chicago. This means they had to adjust their translation for the Chicago dialect of the language. Once translated, the barks bore a clear and frightening message. In English, the barks most nearly mean
"Dogs of America, your votes matter. In past years, Americans have neglected the power of your vote. I am here to bring you back to having your [voices] heard on the national scale, in choosing your own alpha (president). Do your part in democracy and I will put the power in your hands! arh!" (the final "arh!" was actually just an imitation of a dog's bark).
After this was discovered, the college consulted the constitution to clarify whether dogs did indeed have the right to vote. It turns out in Amendment XV, Section I, there is an asterisk which leads to a footnote which states that all dogs born within the United States, whose owners are also U.S. citizens are given the right to vote. So why didn't Clinton defend herself and explain what she was doing? Simply put, Donald Trump is unaware of dog's capability to cast votes. With the current polls, Clinton is predicted to have 68% of the canine vote, while Trump carries only 26%. Hillary believes that if Trump becomes aware of this demographic, Trump will begin to target them and balance the polls.
You might be thinking that this report can't be true, otherwise, mainstream news networks will also report it. But think of this, which is more fun to watch, a close race or a blowout? The news networks are all about ratings and if they report the actual poll numbers, it will be revealed that Hillary seemingly has the election in the bag, carrying 59% and Trump a mere 32%. Believe it or not, the facts are out.
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